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User blog:Kaido King of the Beasts/Sanji vs. the 99 Newkama Kenpo Masters: Part 1
Sanji ran out of Ivankov's lair, stretching and ready to begin his challenge. This should be easy, thought Sanji. All I have to do is look for the masters while avoiding the othe-'' Suddenly, he heard a cry, the sound of which was the complete opposite of a damsel in distress. Sanji looked in the distance and cursed under his breath. "They" had already found him. "Oooooh, Sanji!" shouted the okama leader. "You can't ''possibly understand our cuisines without becoming one of us first!" "Screw that!" Sanji yelled back. "A true man will overcome any challenge!" "Looks like he's gonna be difficult," said the leader to the others. "Let's get 'im and make him understand what paradise really is!" The okamas charged down the hill, and Sanji screamed and ran from them. "You can't escape us, Sanji-poo!" yelled one of the okamas. Sanji looked around as he ran, realizing that he had no idea where any of these Newkama Kenpo masters lived. This really was hell. The hours passed by, and Sanji ducked in an alley. Despite all of his attempts to lose them, they somehow managed to sense him and chase him again. Sanji knew that this time would be no different, and he immediately began running once he heard a nearby screech. He was very tired, and didn't know if the okamas even slept at night. He had to find one of the Masters soon, but how? Sanji soon realized he was running in circles around a very large pink building. He had never paid it much mind, but he began to make out a sign very high up. On it was written: LUNDSAY NEWKAMA KENPO MASTER Sanji would hit himself, but he was too tired. He looked around for an entrance, and eventually found it. The okamas surrounded the entrance as he walked in, but did not pursue him any longer. "Rats, he found one of the masters!" shouted an okama. "We failed..." However, he was cut off by the leader. "We still have many more chances. Not only that, but if Lundsay-sama beats him, Sanji will instantly become one of us!" Sanji entered a large chamber, panting and struggling to stay upright. He looked around, but couldn't catch anyone. Suddenly, a loud voice rang out from behind him, jolting Sanji. "WHAT FAIR MAIDEN HAS ENTERED MY CHAMBER? WOULD YOU LIKE TO EAT MY FOOD? OR BATTLE? Please be battle, please be battle..." Sanji spun around to face the master. "Both! I came to receive your Attack Cuisine recipe!" "Chee hee hee hee! You've got a lot of nerve, girl! No one can just take my recipe!" exclaimed Lundsay. "Wait...you seem familiar...ah, yes! You're that sister who just joined and isn't taking well to our lifestyle! So if you get all our recipes, then you can forsake us...For Shame! I'll never let that happen!" Sanji and Lundsay stood in confrontation. "Well, if you're not going to give it to me, I guess I gotta take it from you!" yelled Sanji. With that, he rushed toward Lundsay, who countered his leg with his arms. "There was hardly any force in that blow! You're too tired to fight properly!" said Lundsay. "Newkama Kenpo: Aesthetic Art #12 - Happy-Hugs-Slam!" Lundsay barreled onto Sanji, slamming him into the ground. Sanji coughed and struggled to get back up. "I cannot be bested...by this creature! Poitrine!" Sanji's kick connected to Lundsay's chest, but he was only pushed back a little with no noticeable signs of damage. "A real man NEVER attacks a woman's chest!" screamed Lundsay. "Shut up, you freak!" responded Sanji. With a shattering cry of HOO-AAAAAAH! Lundsay barraged Sanji with outstretched fingers. Sanji countered with kicks, but began losing ground. Cotelette! he shouted, and with a great heave he slammed his leg into Lundsay's rib section. Sanji then spun around, dealing Lundsay an equally powerful kick to the back. Selle! The attack was strong enough to make Lundsay stumble. "You're better than I thought," he said to Sanji. "I'm beginning to feel a little tired as well! Almost makes me wanna take a bite out of my Hormone Soup with Sea Pork..." With that, Lundsay lifted a bowl up. "You're saying that that soup will instantly replenish your strength?" asked Sanji. "Yep!" replied Lundsay. "I feel like having a little..." Suddenly, Sanji kicked the bowl out of his hands, sending it crashing into the ground. "No replenishing! You'll have to defeat me using your own power before you can get your strength back!" "Very well then," replied Lundsay as he got back into battle position. Ultimate Newkama Ballerina Technique: Starry Fantasy! Lundsay rushed forward, spinning with his arms flayed out. Sanji attempted to counter, but the force was too much as he was sent sprawling against the wall. "If you're so intent on spinning...I might as well follow suit!" muttered Sanji. Diable Jambe! Sanji spun around and began heating up his leg as Lundsay continued spinning towards him. Upon reaching Sanji, Lundsay took to the air before spinning down, his feet on pointe as though ready to drill into Sanji. However, Sanji was ready and countered with his newly heated foot. "OWWWWWWWWW!" Lundsay exclaimed as he leaped away from Sanji, nursing his feet. "What in the blazes is that???" "Something that'll cook your cuisine," replied Sanji as he rushed towards Lundsay. "Venaison Shoot!" Sanji barraged Lundsay with flaming kicks, and the okama could not muster a sound. Finally, Sanji's last blow sent Lundsay flying to the other side of the chamber, unable to move and with his torso glowing from the heat. "I...I did it!" Sanji exclaimed as he could remain on his feet no longer and collapsed. However, to Sanji's shock Lundsay got up. Try as he might, Sanji couldn't muster the strength to get back up. Would this be the end of his manhood? Lundsay reached Sanji, a grin on his face. Sanji closed his eyes and held his head back as he braced for the inevitable. Suddenly, Lundsay fell to his knees next to Sanji. "Congratulations girl...you beat me..." Sanji's eyes lit up. "So...you're telling me you'll give me the secret to that rejuvenating soup?" "Unfortunately, yes," replied Lundsay. "Per Iva's orders, I'm also to give you shelter for the night as penance. After that, you'll still have 98 Newkama Kenpo masters to defeat...You might as well give up your determination and just join us!" "Never!" exclaimed Sanji immediately. "Very well, then," said Lundsay. "Let me tell you the ingredients for Hormone Soup with Sea Pork." "This should certainly give me a boost the next 98 battles," said Sanji. "Oh, don't count on it..." Category:Blog posts